Children: A blessing or menace to society? The ball is in the parents' court!!!

Can you imagine a grown man or woman being scared of a child? Seems silly doesn't it? Well its happening in our very own nation. The other day I was reading the paper and there was an article talking about a high number of teachers in England being anxious about going to work because of the increase of violence in schools. I really felt sorry for them. The most shocking thing was some schools have even started using metal detectors to try and reduce violence. Strangely both primary school teachers and high school teachers alike are scared of some of their students. I'm not surprised by this at all. I mean you only have to spend a little bit of time with some of these kids on the street for two minutes to know that most of them have jelly instead of brain in their head. A lot of them (not all) don't listen to grown ups, have less manners than your average cat, are disrespectful and have an attitude that stinks worse than the sewage in Beckton. Now that might sound harsh but its closer to the truth. Manners and good morals are becoming extinct and common sense has flown out of the window with the children of today. A lot of the older children are interested in gang culture, booze, popularity and proving themself to the next person. It's disheartening, scary to think that these will be the leaders of tomorrow. 

So where have we gone wrong and who is to blame? Is it the parents who have failed in their duty to train up their children right or is it the government that has instituted laws which make it difficult to discipline children the "good old fashioned way" or is it society which has failed to play its part in helping mould the young or should we blame the media and entertainment industry for displaying and promoting high levels of violence in movies and games. Hoestly where did we go wrong? 

 Of course the community, government, schools and so on can play a part in influencing children but I think the greatest burden of discipline lies with the parents. These are the people primarily responsible for the children they have brought into this world. Sadly some parents don't care enough to discipline their children. They just leave them to do as they please, well no wonder things are getting chaotic. However many  parents do try to teach their children right from wrong using different methods. Some opt for the no smacking approach using Supernanny's type of methods of discipline such as timeouts and reward systems for good behaviour, which in some cases work well with some children especially younger ones but are often not so effective with older children. 

Some parents believe in spanking and I think if the shoe fits wear it. Having worked with children aged 3 to 7 for many years I can tell you that time outs, withdrawal of privileges, firm talks and gold stars will work for some kids but not all. Some kids are just so naughty they don't care about the gold stars you are trying to use to bribe them to ellicit good behaviour. I for one don't believe that spanking is always ideal for every instance but at the same time I think if done in moderation,there is a place for it and with some children its the only thing they will respond to. I've heard of children who manipulate parents and threaten to report them for abuse if they don't let the child do whatever they want. Yes some of these children know the system and they have become cunning calculating little brats who use the system to get away with "murder". I do believe however that a little smack if used should be accompanied by an explanation of the reason behind it and an assurance that the child is loved but the behaviour is unacceptable. In a nutshell I think that my favourite manual, the bible summarised it well,
"Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell." (Proverbs 23:13-14 NJKV) and The Message bible says
13-14 "Don't be afraid to correct your young ones;
a spanking won't kill them.
A good spanking, in fact, might save them
from something worse than death."
Prov 13:24 also says He who spares his rod hates his son,
But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.
Therefore if you spare the rod...you're likely to spoil the child.... 

Good parenting skills do not just end with discipline. Being responsibe for what your child does is also key. As a parent you should have a say about how your children dress, who you allow them to hang around with, what programmes and movies they watch, what music they listen to, where the child goes for leisure and entertainment. Many complain that the media industry is brainwashing their kids and feeding junk into their minds, well don't just sit there and do nothing, as parents try to talk with your kids and stipulate what you as a parent will allow in your home. Of course children may lie and do things behind their parents back but it may deter some of them and if parents take an active interest and lay down strict rules it helps to build boundaries and although the children may hate it, they will respect their parents in the long run. However this also means parents need to build a loving and trusting relationship with children so that they can feel at ease and share their personal life with you.

This article was on Yahoo News last week and I thought it was funny.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20100413/hl_afp/healthresearchchildspanking

I think the research result in the Yahoo article is too general and the type of testing done is not enough to make such a ridiculous assumption. In many African countries children get a slap or smack here and there,(I certainly got my fair share when I was growing up) and as far as I know these kids that have been spanked are in no way more aggressive, damaged or worse off emotional or physically...infact many have excelled and gone on to do well in life. In fact in my home country there is barely any gun or kife crime amongst our teens like there is here in the UK because in my home country children respect each other and life so I think thats its silly to even think that spanking and aggression have a cause and effect relationship.

There many that believe that children should never be spanked at all and say that its abuse but I don't think it is if used sparingly. Mind you some parents' scoldings and tongue lashings are more abusive and inflict more wounds than a little hand smack. 

So to those with children, its up to you how will raise your kids (with a little help from government policy of course) but all I can say is, if all else fails use wisdom and look to the God who made us for direction, He can help. If He could tame the raging sea and cause the storm to be still, surely He can tame our lost children.